


Mercy for the Diaz Brothers

by thatgreengentlewoman



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Abed Fixes Film, Abed as Tony Montana, Abed's Mafia Movie Phase, Annie is mentioned but doesn't appear, Canon Autistic Character, Diaz Brothers, Fluff, Kinda sexy?, Kissing, Light Bondage, M/M, Scarface - Freeform, Troy as Edgar Diaz, everyone is irrelevant except for troy and abed, if you can call it bondage, no sex tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 12:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgreengentlewoman/pseuds/thatgreengentlewoman
Summary: “I could have written a better death for the Diaz brothers,” Abed decides.But, unlike Abed, Tony Montana doesn't quite stick to the script.Partly based on the song "Diaz Brothers" by The Mountain Goats.





	Mercy for the Diaz Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> I recently fell in love with Community having previously watched Harmon Quest...and boy oh boy. As a bisexual English major, I have to say that Harmon totally nailed the writing between Abed and Troy. They can be read as both half-closeted queer men and just super comfy dude friends, but neither is ever coded as a bad thing. They're just super goofy, cute bros defying the laws of toxic masculinity. But also they could totally make out and it would be understandable.  
> Good writing all around.
> 
> On a less geeky note, this story is in part drawn from the song "Diaz Brothers" by The Mountain Goats.  
> Enjoy!

“Abed has been going through a Mafia Movies phase,” Troy explains. Jeff merely nods, eyebrows barely raised anymore. He’d gotten used to the way Abed expressed himself, as had everyone. Which is why nobody commented on the fact that the gangliest member of their troupe was wearing a navy blue pinstripe suit and had his black hair slicked back immaculately. He was sitting in his usual chair with his usual messenger bag sitting against his chair leg. Nothing was different about Abed except his suit and the way he was surveying everyone back with an almost scary level of confidence. 

“Not just Mafia,” Abed corrects, “Also Mob and Gangster, as they have different tropes in each genre despite very similar plots.”

“Yes, also those,” Troy agrees and apologizes all at once. Abed gestures for everyone to sit, and for some reason they immediately do. 

“Hey, where’s Annie?” Britta asks. 

“She had an...appointment,” Abed says, his head snapping in her direction. Britta laughs nervously and Abed realizes he’s too in character. “A dental appointment.”

“Oh,” Britta nods. Jeff sighs and opens his book, eyes already glazed over from the boredom of  _ actually  _ studying for once, as they have a test coming up. Shirley and Pierce start arguing about something Pierce is almost definitely wrong about and the attention turns from Abed’s outfit. 

“So,” Abed turns to Troy expectantly. “Which film should we watch tonight?”

“Have you seen Scarface yet?” Troy asks. Abed shakes his head, eyes closing briefly. When he opens them again, Troy has shifted closer. He takes one of Abed’s hands in his and squeezes a little. 

“It’s a classic!”

“Why haven’t you already seen all of these?” Jeff asks. Abed senses his honest curiosity and gives him a straight answer.

“My father didn’t approve of films with gratuitous violence and I couldn’t really laugh off Mobster films the way I could laugh off bad 80’s horror flicks or sci-fi pieces,” Abed explained. He and Troy are still holding hands, as they have been ever more frequently since deciding they liked each other in front of the study group. 

“So you’re mass-consuming them right now?” Shirley clarifies nervously. “Cause I don’t think those movies have a very loving or, uh, Christian message, honey.”

“Don’t worry, Shirley,” Troy smiles. “I keep him honest with an episode of Land Before Time every once and awhile.”

“This is true. He does a lovely impression of Littlefoot,” Abed agrees. Troy blushes and the group teases him about it for a minute before Jeff interrupts with the fact they have a test. The study group quiets down after that.

* * *

 

Later, Troy is holding a long-empty popcorn bucket as the credits for  _ Scarface  _ begin to crawl down the screen. Abed fast-forwards to look at the cameramen, light designers, riggers, and costume designers, ignoring the cast almost entirely. 

“How did you like it?” Troy asks, sitting up on his knees on the couch cushion. 

“So it wasn’t the Diaz brothers who are sent to kill Tony?” Abed asks, cocking his head to the side. This is his only clarification about an otherwise excellent film. 

“No. Totally separate dudes. The Diaz brothers run a rival cartel,” Troy says. “Common mistake, really.”

“Oh right, the cartel,” Abed acknowledges. This should have been obvious to him. They discuss the movie a bit more before Abed sighs. “I don’t like the way they died.”

“Why not?” Troy asks.

“Not poetic enough.”

“Huh?”

“I could have written a better death for the Diaz brothers,” Abed decides. Troy rolls his eyes and Abed catches it. “You don’t think I could. You like the film the way it is.”

“I mean, yeah, it’s pretty good,” Troy states. Abed nods.

“It was good. But I can do better.”

“Goodnight, Abed.”

“Night, Troy.”

Then the house fills with the sound of quiet clicking through the night as Abed typed out his far superior ending to the Diaz brothers.

* * *

 

“Alright, Edgar, that’s enough.” Abed’s voice mimics the accent of Tony Montana almost perfectly. They’re both in costume, but Abed’s is more elaborate: a pair of flared trousers and a  jacket over a red silk shirt, his hands adorned with rings and a gold watch on his left wrist. Very early 1980’s and very...sexy? The way he’s squaring his chin and adjusting his stance to more emulate the protagonist of  _ Scarface  _ has Troy’s adam’s apple doing a strange bobbing motion while he tries to summon up his line.

“I didn’t kill the old broad,” Troy replies eventually. ‘Tony’ has just pulled ‘Edgar’ from the trunk of his Porsche and has tied his hands together in front of him with some thin rope. After making sure Edgar’s hands are secure, Tony grabs a length of extra rope to use as a leash, pulling his captive through the woods by his wrists. 

“I said that’s enough!” Tony cries, tugging hard at the rope. Edgar stumbles after the mafioso, struggling to get away every few steps by pulling back at his wrists. He watches as the dark forest floor turns from pine needles to a mixture of needles, rotting leaves, and sand. He struggles a little harder to get away, his fate dawning on him slowly. 

“Enough!” Tony cries, yanking hard on the rope connected to Edgar’s wrists. Edgar falls to his knees from the force of the sharp jerk to his arms. Tony approaches the kneeling man and pulls Edgar’s head back by his hair; one sharp yank backwards that elicits a quick gasp of shock and confusion from the captive. “Do you want me to just hang you here, huh? Is that what you want,  _ Diaz?  _ To be strung up the nearest tree? _ ”  _

“N...No,” Edgar gasps, his eyes still tilted to the stars. Maybe this really would be the last time Edgar Diaz ever saw the night sky. Tony moves away, hand still clenching the rope. Edgar stands on shaky legs, moving to follow Tony as he continues through the forest. Eventually they come out onto a moonlit beach. "What have you done to my brother? Where's Alphonso?"

"He's already been taken care of," Tony smirks. Edgar's eyes narrow but he's in no position to be making threats, so he goes for an insult. 

"You're filth."

“Any last words, Diaz?” Tony asks, positioning Diaz until he stands at the edge of the water. Tony takes a step back and pulls out a gun. Edgar doesn’t need to ask to know that the serial numbers have been filed off and that the gun will be wiped of fingerprints and tossed into the sea after him. He knows these things. So he takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky.

“I wouldn’t stoop so low as to ask you for mercy. So shoot away, Tony Montana,” Edgar declares. He closes his eyes. 

Tony Montana’s gun doesn’t make the shooting noise. Maybe Abed is waiting an extra beat to kill him for dramatic affect? Troy starts to open one eye but quickly opens them both upon seeing that Abed is right in front of his face. 

“Uh...Tony?”

Then Abed is kissing him. Full on the mouth. Troy also doesn't remember seeing this in the script. Abed's warm hand cups the side of Troy's face, pulling him closer. He whispers an apology for pulling Troy's hair and Troy almost reveals that it was kinda hot, but keeps that a secret for now rather than ruining the moment. He pecks Abed on the neck where he knows it tickles and watches his almost-boyfriend shiver a little. Troy glances over, the camera they’ve set up in the corner of the study room isn’t even blinking red anymore, the battery having died at some point during filming. Abed had noticed but hadn't stopped. 

He’d decided to improvise. 

Troy realizes this but doesn't mind. So they keep kissing. Troy’s hands are still tied at the wrist, his fists bunching in Abed’s blazer as their tongues work against each other. It's gotten more intense as they've continued to make out, Abed pulling Troy in by the belt and Troy grinding against him slightly. They stumble back against the table, Troy’s hands falling to brush against the waistband of Abed’s flared black pants. They're both breathing heavily and staring at each other with a certain level of both horniness and understanding. Abed asks, “Dorm?”

“Dorm.”

“Oh...and  _ scene.” _


End file.
